It was July 28, 2012 when the Lord told me - clear out of the blue - that we were to adopt.
"Huh?!" was my eloquent response. Adopt? Now?
You see, my husband Edgar and I have a HUGE passion for adoption. We are big time advocates for the Church of Jesus Christ to open our arms to receive the last, least and littlest ones of this world, the forgotten ones that He sees. After all, adoption is exactly what God did to us. Adoption is the very basis of our faith and the heartbeat of our Father. And Edgar and I had known we were going to adopt children together before he even put a ring on my finger...
But even though my heart was bent in that direction, I still had a pretty strong will about timing and how it was all going to look. Later, I thought, once we've settled down into our family routine, had a few biological children, figured out a thing or two about parenting, THEN we would begin adoption children from all over the world and welcome them into our big and loving home.
That was not, however, what the Lord had for us. You would think that at some point we would finally begin to understand that His plans are usually somewhat - if not a whole lot! - different from ours! Instead the Lord met me one morning and said "TODAY is the day, NOW is the time." It was a step of faith, a step of obedience, a step of laying down my idea of perfect timing and trusting His still, small voice, and it was a step I'll never regret taking.
But like all acts of faith and obedience, this leap has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Many people say "adoption is not for the faint of heart" and I am here to say, that could not be more true!! Since we began the process, the timeline has more than tripled, the costs have gone up, the paperwork has changed, and our wait is now longer than the moment we started one year ago... Not to mention the grueling process of knowing we have a precious little baby girl somewhere in Uganda who might be waiting for us, and we are here waiting for her, longing to bring her home, and sometimes the wait hurts so much I feel physical pain.
So is it still worth it? You better believe it!
Through it all, we have learned so much and seen so much of the Father Heart of God. Let me summarize just a few of the precious pearls Jesus has given our hearts along the way.
1. Just because God gives us a promise doesn't mean it will happen right away. Just to get a little vulnerable with you guys, this has been a tough one for me. God placed within me a huge mother's heart and I've been longing for motherhood since I was a small child. And when God told us to start our family, I thought we would get pregnant within just a few months. Because He promised, right? Little did I know that it would take years of waiting and two miscarriages and who knows what else to see the fulfillment of that promise.
Right now I'm reading Heidi Baker's book "Compelled by Love", and in there she writes, "When a prophetic word is spoken over your life, should you stop praying when you don't see it happening? No, of course not! You have to stay hungry and thirsty - starving like the poor who have nothing - for the things of God." There are so many Biblical examples of the people of God standing in faith and believing for the things God promised, and they had to wait and persevere a long time - sometimes even decades! - to receive the thing they were hoping for.
When God promises something, He is ALWAYS faithful to fulfill. It won't look like how we thought it should, it will cost more, take longer and probably be more painful than we imagined, but when hope is fulfilled it yields an abundant, flourishing tree of life.
2. God places us in families for a reason. We need family! We need community, support, fellowship. When our arms get tired we need them to be lifted up by those around us. And we need the privilege of serving and pouring out to each other. Edgar and I could not make this journey alone. God has shown up on our doorstep time and time again in the faces of our parents, our siblings, our nieces and nephews, our brothers and sisters in Christ, our neighbors, our bosses, our colleagues, even through the genuine smile and laugh of our mailman!
Community - authentic, real, transparent, messy, real community - is not only important, it is essential. Not a one of us can thrive long term when we travel alone. And no matter where we've gone or what continent we've lived on, we have seen the Lord faithfully and constantly provide community for us. Edgar and I have lived in 5 different homes over our 5 years of marriage and in each place we had a RICH body of fellowship. If you don't feel connected and supported, known and loved, I urge you to jump into the community of believers near you. You are too precious to live life alone! Amazingly, it is possible to be a faithful member of a church and still feel isolated and disconnected. There's a solution to this however...
For people who know us well, Edgar and I are the type that jump into wherever we are with both feet, completely abandoned to serving Jesus and building His kingdom wherever we find ourselves. Wherever there is a need, that's where we start serving. If you're feeling disconnected from rich and meaningful friendships, join a small group/Bible study and just start serving the people near you. Find a way to invest whatever you have to offer at your church. Jump in with both feet and chances are pretty soon, you will never be the same!
3. Even when it hurts, it's worth it.
Just the thought of looking into my daughter's deep brown eyes swells my heart to overflowing with love and gratefulness and makes all the years of waiting more than worth it. But sometimes faith is not very glamorous. Instead, it's messy and dirty and even downright grueling. Yet even in that reality, Edgar and I have such a strong desire to live not only for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, for many generations to come. If by daily laying down my will, laying down my life and faithfully serving the Lord where I'm planted is the key to sowing life and blessings into future generations, then IT'S WORTH IT. If what I sow in tears my grandchildren will reap in joy, then IT'S WORTH IT. Even if I am not the one who will reap the fruit! For my children and my grandchildren's sake, I will keep pressing on, keep taking up my cross daily, keep clinging to hope and trusting the heart of Jesus, until I see His kingdom come.
No, it's not glamorous and it's not pretty, but it is oh so worth it...
And so the journey continues... Year one of this adoption process is complete, and we stand here looking at the path ahead of us that can look daunting and discouraging if I view it with human eyes. But I choose to set my heart on the prize, which is not the fulfillment of my dreams, not motherhood or children or anything on this side of heaven. My prize, my longing is JESUS Himself...and this is how I know that I will receive all that my heart longs for.
"Huh?!" was my eloquent response. Adopt? Now?
You see, my husband Edgar and I have a HUGE passion for adoption. We are big time advocates for the Church of Jesus Christ to open our arms to receive the last, least and littlest ones of this world, the forgotten ones that He sees. After all, adoption is exactly what God did to us. Adoption is the very basis of our faith and the heartbeat of our Father. And Edgar and I had known we were going to adopt children together before he even put a ring on my finger...
But even though my heart was bent in that direction, I still had a pretty strong will about timing and how it was all going to look. Later, I thought, once we've settled down into our family routine, had a few biological children, figured out a thing or two about parenting, THEN we would begin adoption children from all over the world and welcome them into our big and loving home.
That was not, however, what the Lord had for us. You would think that at some point we would finally begin to understand that His plans are usually somewhat - if not a whole lot! - different from ours! Instead the Lord met me one morning and said "TODAY is the day, NOW is the time." It was a step of faith, a step of obedience, a step of laying down my idea of perfect timing and trusting His still, small voice, and it was a step I'll never regret taking.
But like all acts of faith and obedience, this leap has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination. Many people say "adoption is not for the faint of heart" and I am here to say, that could not be more true!! Since we began the process, the timeline has more than tripled, the costs have gone up, the paperwork has changed, and our wait is now longer than the moment we started one year ago... Not to mention the grueling process of knowing we have a precious little baby girl somewhere in Uganda who might be waiting for us, and we are here waiting for her, longing to bring her home, and sometimes the wait hurts so much I feel physical pain.
So is it still worth it? You better believe it!
Through it all, we have learned so much and seen so much of the Father Heart of God. Let me summarize just a few of the precious pearls Jesus has given our hearts along the way.
1. Just because God gives us a promise doesn't mean it will happen right away. Just to get a little vulnerable with you guys, this has been a tough one for me. God placed within me a huge mother's heart and I've been longing for motherhood since I was a small child. And when God told us to start our family, I thought we would get pregnant within just a few months. Because He promised, right? Little did I know that it would take years of waiting and two miscarriages and who knows what else to see the fulfillment of that promise.
Right now I'm reading Heidi Baker's book "Compelled by Love", and in there she writes, "When a prophetic word is spoken over your life, should you stop praying when you don't see it happening? No, of course not! You have to stay hungry and thirsty - starving like the poor who have nothing - for the things of God." There are so many Biblical examples of the people of God standing in faith and believing for the things God promised, and they had to wait and persevere a long time - sometimes even decades! - to receive the thing they were hoping for.
When God promises something, He is ALWAYS faithful to fulfill. It won't look like how we thought it should, it will cost more, take longer and probably be more painful than we imagined, but when hope is fulfilled it yields an abundant, flourishing tree of life.
2. God places us in families for a reason. We need family! We need community, support, fellowship. When our arms get tired we need them to be lifted up by those around us. And we need the privilege of serving and pouring out to each other. Edgar and I could not make this journey alone. God has shown up on our doorstep time and time again in the faces of our parents, our siblings, our nieces and nephews, our brothers and sisters in Christ, our neighbors, our bosses, our colleagues, even through the genuine smile and laugh of our mailman!
Community - authentic, real, transparent, messy, real community - is not only important, it is essential. Not a one of us can thrive long term when we travel alone. And no matter where we've gone or what continent we've lived on, we have seen the Lord faithfully and constantly provide community for us. Edgar and I have lived in 5 different homes over our 5 years of marriage and in each place we had a RICH body of fellowship. If you don't feel connected and supported, known and loved, I urge you to jump into the community of believers near you. You are too precious to live life alone! Amazingly, it is possible to be a faithful member of a church and still feel isolated and disconnected. There's a solution to this however...
For people who know us well, Edgar and I are the type that jump into wherever we are with both feet, completely abandoned to serving Jesus and building His kingdom wherever we find ourselves. Wherever there is a need, that's where we start serving. If you're feeling disconnected from rich and meaningful friendships, join a small group/Bible study and just start serving the people near you. Find a way to invest whatever you have to offer at your church. Jump in with both feet and chances are pretty soon, you will never be the same!
3. Even when it hurts, it's worth it.
Just the thought of looking into my daughter's deep brown eyes swells my heart to overflowing with love and gratefulness and makes all the years of waiting more than worth it. But sometimes faith is not very glamorous. Instead, it's messy and dirty and even downright grueling. Yet even in that reality, Edgar and I have such a strong desire to live not only for our children, but for our children's children, and their children, for many generations to come. If by daily laying down my will, laying down my life and faithfully serving the Lord where I'm planted is the key to sowing life and blessings into future generations, then IT'S WORTH IT. If what I sow in tears my grandchildren will reap in joy, then IT'S WORTH IT. Even if I am not the one who will reap the fruit! For my children and my grandchildren's sake, I will keep pressing on, keep taking up my cross daily, keep clinging to hope and trusting the heart of Jesus, until I see His kingdom come.
No, it's not glamorous and it's not pretty, but it is oh so worth it...
And so the journey continues... Year one of this adoption process is complete, and we stand here looking at the path ahead of us that can look daunting and discouraging if I view it with human eyes. But I choose to set my heart on the prize, which is not the fulfillment of my dreams, not motherhood or children or anything on this side of heaven. My prize, my longing is JESUS Himself...and this is how I know that I will receive all that my heart longs for.
